Warm
by Yami White Rain
Summary: [SakuraxSyaoran, slightly au] He knew this wasn't his place, but he was selfish enough to still want it and grab a hold of it some.


Warm

By: White Rain

Disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa.

Pairing: Sakura x real!Syaoran.

Notes/Warnings: spoilers for 148, written before recent chapters so au.

Summary: He knew this wasn't his place, but he was selfish enough to still want it and grab a hold of it some.

-

She woke.

Syaoran let go of the blanket he'd been clutching as he watched her. There was still some stained blood on her clothes, and Syaoran wanted so much to replace them. To burn away the memory of this as best as he could. But he knew it was enough that she was alive.

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura said, turning her head, blinking her eyes slowly, clearly trying to get ahold of her senses again.

Syaoran's hand shook slightly as he rose his hand and slowly moved it onto her shoulder. She stared at him silently as he slowly moved his hand down closer to her neck, so that he could feel her pulse against his thumb.

After he'd felt it beat several times, he bowed his head. He's been too afraid to touch her before she woke. Afraid she wouldn't wake, despite the Witch of the Dimensions assurance that she was alive. Afraid it wasn't his place. Afraid that he'd lost her without ever really getting her.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. His voice cracked as he continued with, "I should have protected you better." He was losing his voice, but he continued, "I failed."

Sakura suddenly grabbed his hand, and Syaoran was afraid that she's pull him away. He knew he wasn't the one she loved, and he had to right to do this, and maybe she was just being kind by saying it wasn't because of him that she wanted to leave.

Instead, she squeezed his hand.

Syaoran looked up to face her. "Sakura-hime?"

Sakura stared at him for a moment, Syaoran was sure she was going to go into business mode, asking about Fye and how she didn't die. But instead her shoulders began to shake and she squeezed her eyes shut. Tears began to fall down her face. "Syaoran-kun, don't blame yourself. I just wasn't strong enough again."

"You're stronger than anyone," Syaoran blurted out before he could stop himself. He felt a blush rise up on his face, but he did his best to ignore it, reaching over to wipe the stray tears off her cheeks with his spare hand.

"I'm always holding you guys back," Sakura protested and turned her head to the side. Her hair was sprawled against the white pillow, and Syaoran had a sudden urge to tell her, her hair was pretty. "This was my fault."

"Don't say that," Syaoran said. He didn't know how to say that he felt less lonely when she smiled. That he admired her for being able to keep smiling, even when it had to be hard. That he was afraid that he was the reason she couldn't smile again. Instead he said, "We wouldn't have made it this far without you."

"I'm the reason we're even here," Sakura said. She was still turned away.

Her throat was bare, and the skin looked extra pale because of the dark clothes she was wearing. He longed to touch it, wondered if the skin was as soft as it looked; as soft as her wrist had been when he'd grabbed her as she tried to leave.

He closed his eyes tightly, and willed off those thoughts. Then he said, because the silence around them had grown too thick, "It hasn't all been bad."

"I know, but -" her voice drifted off.

"I'm not alone anymore," Syaoran suddenly confessed, and bowed his head again. He pulled his arms away from her, and started to trace the patterns of her blanket. "I'm not him, but I still want to protect you. I still," he paused and gathered to courage to continue, "I still want to be with everyone." He stopped before he admitted that she was the one most special to him, that right wasn't his.

Syaoran's eyes widened slightly when Sakura suddenly turned to him, grabbed his face gently, and forced his head up slightly. "It must have been horrible for you."

"It was cold," he said softy and lowered his eyes, and continued as if he shouldn't, but couldn't help it, digging his nails into the bed, "I'm not so cold here."

"I'll try and protect you too," Sakura said.

He could tell she wasn't telling the whole truth. But his heartbeat picked up slightly at the fact he was sure she did want to protect him. He was also trying to fight down the rising flush on his face again.

She gently took one of his wrists in her hand, pulled his hand forward and brushed her lips across the skin of his palm.

She fainted.

Syaoran's breath was caught in his throat; she'd fainted as she did when she kissed the other Syaoran all those months ago.

Maybe that meant it wasn't hopeless, maybe he could mean something to her too.

He quickly shoved that thought away and carefully pulled his arm away from her. He stared back down at the bed and waited. He knew he couldn't talk to her again next time she woke, Fye would have to do that, as the price for their wish.

But it was enough to be with her for now.

He was selfish enough to want to be warm with her.


End file.
